While I’m Waiting…

I figured it’s been a while since my last life/health update, and I’ve got a lot of new readers so I’m going to give a quick bit of background information to start off. I apologize to those who know this already… just scroll down a paragraph or two! I also apologize that this post is rather lengthy, so bear with me.

I came off the pill in October 2013 with the mindset that I probably wouldn’t get pregnant immediately. I knew that because of having Hashimoto’s and PCOS that it probably would take a little time. I also knew that my periods were irregular before going on it and wasn’t sure how they would be once I was off it again.

But even with the knowledge that it could take a little bit, I was still hopeful that it would just be a few months, maybe a year at most, before I got pregnant. I wasn’t expecting 20 months to go by without getting pregnant and for my periods to be getting more IRREGULAR.

When I first came off the pill, I had a period every 3-4 months and it would last 10-15 days. However at the end of September 2014, I had one that lasted over 3 weeks. Then I didn’t have a period again until the end of February 2015 and it lasted until April 6th — over SIX weeks. I probably don’t have to tell you how much that SUCKED.

I had spoken with my doctor a few times about it, but she didn’t seem concerned. And at first I wasn’t either. But then they got farther and farther apart. So I decided to make an appointment with an OBGYN. I called in January and the earliest they could get me in was the end of March. So I waited it out, even though by the time I had my appointment I was 4 weeks into my period.

I went to the appointment with kind of an idea of what might be going on — that I wasn’t ovulating — but I still wanted to get checked out and make sure that was all it was. The doctor confirmed that he thought this was the case, but he wanted to run some bloodwork and suggested I start taking progesterone pills. I would take the progesterone for five days if I went 35 days without a period. This would should trigger my body to have a period.

He told me I could go on Chlomid too so I would ovulate, but I didn’t want to go on too much at once. I decided to just stick with the progesterone for a few months and see what the bloodwork results were. Of course I was thinking it would only take a couple of weeks for the results to come back, but it’s been TWO MONTHS and I still don’t have them. I’ve called the doctor several times asking about them, but I keep getting told that he has them, he just hasn’t reviewed them so they can’t tell me anything. It’s extremely aggravating, but I’ve switched to a different doctor who comes highly recommended for the next appointment which is later this month and I am hoping she is much more communicative.

On top of all this, my main doctor has essentially closed her practice for the summer. From what I understand, she’s battling Lyme’s disease and undergoing treatment for it, so she’s not able to see patients at least through August. I’m trying to decide if I should stick it out and see what happens in August or start looking for another doctor, but trying to find one that is knowledgeable in thyroid conditions like mine could be challenging.

Anyway, what’s the main theme in all of this?

WAITING.

Waiting on my body to figure itself out.

Waiting on doctors to give me answers.

Waiting on a baby.

And to be honest, I’m surprised at myself that I am not more upset about all of this. I am not exactly a patient person. I’m actually extremely impatient. But for some reason that I cannot fully explain, I’m pretty at peace about it at this point.

Now don’t get me wrong! I’ve had my bad days, even bad weeks (my sister can vouch for that — poor thing has had to deal with a lot of pity party texts). I do get upset about it from time to time. It’s particularly hard when yet again another friend announces they are pregnant. There is that pang of jealousy and wondering “why not me?”.

For the most part, however, I am okay with it.

I know I have plenty of time. That’s one reason we came off the pill when we did. We didn’t want to feel like “the clock is ticking.”

I also know that, no matter what, one day I will be a mom. It might not be the way I want or planned, but it will happen, even if it’s not a biological child. There is always adoption or fostering.

Would I be lying if I said I didn’t want to see what a mini-Sophi or mini-Jeff would look and act like? ABSOLUTELY. Do I want to know what it feels like to create a child and carry it in my body for 9 months? MOST DEFINITELY. Will I cry and be upset if neither of these things becomes a reality for me one day? YOU BET.

But I also know that adoption has been placed on my heart for a long time, whether I do have a biological child or not. I know that one way or another, when the time is right, Jeff and I will have a child.

While I am waiting though, I will take what measures I need to keep my body healthy. I’m taking progesterone to get my cycles regulated. I’m exercising more than I have ever before. I’ve been gluten-free for almost a year to help with the Hashimoto’s. And in the future, I may take more steps, like Chlomid, to try and get pregnant.

For now though, I’m taking it a step at a time. I’ll continue to wait.

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P.S. If you are in the midst of infertility and/or need someone to talk to, please feel free to email me! I would love to chat with you! Sometimes the worst part is feeling alone, but you are NOT! My email is sophi[at]simplysophisticatedblog[dot]com.

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