I’m going to be honest right now. I’m having a hard time getting this post written because I’ve discovered Amy Shumer’s show on Comedy Central and I can’t stop laughing. We went to see Trainwreck last weekend and now I’m totally obsessed with her. I hadn’t seen too much of her stuff before the movie, and now I’m playing catch up. I love that a lot of her stuff is not just funny but has a legit point (see: Last F**kable Day, Swanks).
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Way too excited about these!
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I really want some white jeans. I am so not adventurous in that department — I literally only have blue jeans in different washes. I need to get out of my weird monochromatic jean rut, so I’ve requested a pair in my upcoming Stitch Fix box. Fingers crossed!
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Just finished watching The Office through for the first time. The last episode was exactly how all shows should end. All the feels.
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This weekend is our SEVENTH anniversary. We are kicking the celebration off with dinner tonight (which I’ll be using coupons on because #wesofancy). Overall we’re keeping it low-key because both of us have crazy work stuff and can’t really go away, but if the weather is nice this weekend we might go do a little day outing to Southport. But it’s been too dang hot lately so it might be a super sexy weekend of laying around in our pjs watching Neflix in the A/C. And now you know that the romance really does fade… 😉
A couple of days ago I shared the picture above on the blog’s Facebook page. The picture was from the Humans of New York page and it was captioned with the following:
“Alopecia is a weird disease to wrap your head around. It causes your immune system to turn against your body, and your hair falls out. I used to have a big blond fro that was a big part of my identity. It was hard to not get depressed when it disappeared. I started to think: ‘What value do I have if even my body doesn’t like itself?’ As I lost more and more hair, I kept trying to comb my remaining hair over my bald spots. Eventually I had to embrace it. On my 20th birthday, I decided that instead of having a bunch of little bald spots that I don’t like, I’m going to give myself one big one that I do like.”
His words hit me hard. When he says “What value do I have if even my body doesn’t like itself?” he asks the question I’ve asked myself many times over the years.
Just like Alopecia, Hashimoto’s causes your immune system to attack your body. Hashis causes symptoms such as weight gain, fatigue, inability to get warm, difficulty getting pregnant (seeing that one first-hand right now), hair loss or thinning hair, as well as a variety of other symptoms. Coupled with PCOS, which causes hair growth on the face, menstrual issues, acne, etc. and it begins to feel like you’re trapped in a body that hates you.
And when your body hates you, you begin to hate yourself. In a society that tells you that you should be a size 2, have perfectly clear skin, and be hair-free from your nose to your toes, it can destroy you when your body refuses to do even one of those things.
I wish I had been stronger. I wish I could’ve been like the guy in the picture and learned to embrace it much sooner. I wish that I hadn’t allowed society to dictate my self-esteem. But for nearly 10 years, I did. I hated my body. I hated what I saw in the mirror. I was self-conscious every time I left the house. I felt like everyone could see that one black hair on my chin that was missed when I did my weekly facial hair-removal cream, or that they were wondering why I still had breakouts even though I was in my mid-twenties, or that they were judging me for not losing those twenty pounds because how hard is it really to lose that little bit of weight? (And since I’ve regularly asked myself this, I figured others were definitely wondering the same thing).
Turns out, 99% of the people I know or meet never notice any of these insecurities that I have. And as time has gone by, I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t really care if they do. If they judge me based on a few perceived imperfections, I don’t really want them in my life.
Also, as I have figured out some treatments for Hashis and PCOS that my body responds to, I’ve started to feel like I’ve taken back some control which has enabled me to not hate myself so much. I’m beginning to like myself again and realize that I do have value. I won’t lie to you and tell you that I’ve been able to completely shed those inner demons and that I wake every day thinking I’m the most amazing human being to walk the planet. FAR from it. But I don’t wake up most days hating every minute I spend in the mirror.
There are several other factors that have allowed me to get to this place, but that’s for another day. I’m hoping this post hasn’t sounded too “woe is me” because that is not my intent at all. I am extremely lucky to have a disease that is relatively treatable and I know there are so many people on this earth that are living with issues or going through trials that I couldn’t even begin to imagine. But I wanted to share some of what I’ve been through in case there is another person out there that just needs to hear that they are not alone.
No matter what your circumstances, whatever life has thrown at you, whatever cards you’ve been dealt, YOU ARE VALUABLE. Don’t ever forget that.
I don’t remember a time (no pun intended) where I didn’t wear a watch. I think the obsession began somewhere in my pre-teen years and it’s just continued ever since. I wear a watch daily and feel completely lost without one. So when JORD reached out to me and asked me if I would be interested in trying one of their watches, I was thrilled!
JORD specializes in wood watches. I had no idea there was even such a thing before they reached out to me but they are BEAUTIFUL! It was able to choose from a couple different watches, which ended up being very difficult as I wanted one in every color and style. I especially was drawn to the larger watches like the Sully, but I ended up choosing the “Ely” in Cherry. I loved the color and the fact that it had a date display.
Shipping was extremely fast! Even with having them size it, the watch came in less than a week. And it came in the most beautiful wood box. It was funny because my husband came home and saw the box which has a “J” on it, and he immediately asked what I had gotten him (his name is Jeff in case you’re new around here).
He was very disappointed when he learned it was something for me, not him. He was even more jealous when he saw the watch. He isn’t the biggest watch-wearer himself, but he really liked that it’s wood. He’s commented several times over the last few weeks how much he liked it — he really wants one for himself now (and I think the dog does too)!
The other great thing about JORD watches is how light they are. Since they are made of wood and not metal like most watches, it feels like I don’t have anything on my wrist when I wear my Ely watch. And it goes with so much! I’ve been truly surprised how easy it is to wear with jeans and t-shirts but also dress it up for work or a night out.
And I’ve received SO many compliments on it! It’s quickly become a staple accessory for me. I’ve already got a wish list started and will be asking for one of the lighter wood styles, like the Sidney or Fieldcrest, for my birthday!
Are you a watch wearer? If you could choose from any of the JORD watches, which one would it be?
Watch Gift Ideas
***This post was written in collaboration with JORD Watches. I received a watch in exchange for my review. All opinions are my own.