I had the honor of attending a friend’s wedding this past weekend. It was seriously one of the best weddings I have been to in a long time. The couple was absolutely adorable— they were so completely head over heels for each other!
But before I could enjoy the wedding, I had to figure out the dilemma of dressing for it. With it being the end of October, the weather around these parts can either be cool and fall-like or it can feel like it’s still the middle of summer (we actually had both types within the last 24 hours). Finding a dress that could accommodate either type posed quite a challenge. My sister and I actually spent a day shopping in Raleigh trying to find dresses.
After an entire day of shopping, neither of us found anything we liked. The next day I went to the local mall and (surprise, surprise!) I found one at LOFT. Also, I had seen the shoes at Ann Taylor when we were in Raleigh, and when I found the dress, I knew I had to get them to go with it (even though as I write this I still can’t decide if they fully worked, but I loved them way too much to not wear them).
The only think I could not find was a black clutch. Who knew it would be so hard to find a simple black clutch?! I tried several stores but couldn’t find one I liked. I am now on a mission to find one to have on hand for the next event, but for this go-around, I stashed my stuff in the clutch I lended my mom.
Be prepared, I am about to venture into the realm that my parents call “my lack of a filter”, so if you are of the male gender or at all squeamish, you make just want to stop reading right now…
I don’t know why, but these posts are always hard for me. I just sit here and stare at the screen, thoughts flying through my brain but nothing coming out on paper in type.
Where to start? Since my last health update, it feels like a lot and yet nothing at all has happened.
I’ve been off the pill for a full year now (well as of October 30th). And my cycles have yet to even out.
So far I’ve had 5 periods in 12 months. They’re usually around 3 months apart and last about 7-9 days. I thought the longer I was off, the more they would start to regulate out, but that has not been the case. This last (well, current) one is now on day 17! I’ve spent nearly half a month on my period! And it’s not just some light, barely spotting one either; it is very heavy. How is it possible for someone to have this much blood?! <— Sorry if this is TMI lol!
I’ve been really surprised by how much this one in particular is affecting me. I feel SO gross all the time, I’m super moody (my husband is a saint by the way), and I’m exhausted all of the time. All I want to do is sleep. If I wasn’t non-stop bleeding, I would actually think I was pregnant!
Which is a cruel joke because I think it’s also hit me that it’s been a full year and I am NOT pregnant. To say I wasn’t hoping to be pregnant by now would be a total lie.
Most of the time, it really doesn’t bother me too much. I enjoy the fact that I can lay in bed all day and watch Gilmore Girls like I did today, or go out at 11pm at night to meet friends.
But some days it does. It’s hard to have friend after friend announce they are pregnant. And I am so happy for them! Really and truly, I am! However, there’s still a twinge of jealousy. I can’t remember a time where I didn’t want kids. My parents have even told me stories about when I was only 4-5 years old wanting to grow up and be a nurse, move to Chicago to live with my grandma Sophie, and have 5 daughters all named Sophi.
I know I have time.
I know I’m still relatively young.
I know it is not unusual for it to take over a year to get pregnant.
I also know that it is very likely due to the PCOS and Hashimoto’s that I might never get pregnant. So I shouldn’t be surprised or upset about it, and most days I am not. I’ve known since I was 19 years old that it was a possibility, so I’ve had time to prepare and accept it.
I know there are so many women who have been trying for years to get pregnant, done all sorts of fertility treatments and hormone therapies, anything and everything they can to get pregnant and probably want to reach through their computer screens and smack me right now.
Honestly, this is why I haven’t written anything about this for weeks but I also want to be real. If this post sounds whiney, I do not mean for it to be. It’s hard to share something like this without it sounding that way. But I started this blog to share the reality of living with Hashi’s and this is one of them.
However, it’s not all Debbie Downer stuff!
I have been doing a weight loss program through my doctor’s office and have lost 22 pounds. This sounds so shallow and cliche, but it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I did not feel good about myself with all the weight I gained after coming off the pill. I still want to lose more, but with this period, it’s stalled that for a bit. I am happy with the loss so far and feel much more comfortable in my own skin.
Also with losing the weight and changing my eating habits, I have been able to come off my thyroid medicine. My doctor is monitoring it, but I’ve been off for about 2 months and up until this oh-so-lovely period, I have been feeling great!
I also started acupuncture this week. I have read a lot about how it can help with regulating your cycles and hormones. I will be going once a week for the next 6-8 weeks, so I am so hoping it helps! I really enjoyed the first session and other than the needles in my ears, I didn’t feel a thing!
So that is pretty much where I am at right now. Thanks for letting me get all that off my chest!